Recently it was reported that Nikolas Kontanakas, 27, was severely injured by a large, falling albatross that (doctors surmised) suffered from a heart attack in mid-air. In fact, Nicolas, 17, was issued a citation for speeding in a school zone.
We reported on the breaking news of the indictment of Mayor McKenna on charges of corruption and racketeering, but our facts weren’t in order and we’d like to retract that story and instead send the Mayor our congratulations on the birth of his new baby boy.
Mount Rainier is in Washington state, not Washington D.C.
Transvestites and transsexuals are not the same.
The new river recreation area is being named in honor of Adolf Tauzen, long-time local ophthalmologist and community organizer, not Adolf Hitler, the former German fuehrer who attempted to exterminate the Jews.
Correction of yesterday’s correction: the plural of the word ‘fetus’ is ‘fetuses’ not ‘fetii.’ The new flower beds at the women’s clinic were funded by anonymous donations and are not now, nor have they ever been, fertilized with aborted fetuses.
Our story on alleged illegal payments to scholarship athletes on the University baseball team may have been premature. Further investigation has revealed that we have no baseball team… or university.
While it’s true that the new Ocean View condominiums were designed by a graduate of East Valley High School (go Running Rebels!), there is no evidence that their foundations are insufficient making them likely to fall suddenly into the sea.
Sympathy and empathy are not synonymous.
Odds of a planet-wide extinction triggered by an asteroid– technically a meteoroid– impact are significantly less than the 1 in 12 estimate given in our story "The Myth of a Global Financial Crisis."
Valentine’s Day was not invented– or celebrated– by the Ancient Greeks.
Madonna and The Madonna: very different. We apologize for the misleading illustration.
If a storm forms over water, it’s a hurricane; over land, it’s a tornado. Cyclones and typhoons remain hazy.
The gematria of "Prince Charles of Wales" in both English and Hebrew is 666, but there’s been no definitive demonstration proving him in possession of the powers of the Anti-Christ.
Our research continues.
[pad 5.2 - 7/15/09]
You know what widget blogs really need? A thumbs up thingy. Because I liked this post. I admired it. But lacked the words to say so. Instead I wanted to give it a thumbs up.
So here is my thumbs up.
-Oedipa
Thanks for being my third reader, after the Moms and a good friend who hasn’t yet been dissuaded that I couldn’t write a good poem to save my life. Lately I’m very much feeling the words of Don Marquis that sharing poems is like “dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.”
And I could probably find a thumbs up thingamabob for this here blog, but the notable lack of comments is more than enough embarrassment for now!
Agreeing with Oedipa heartily. This provided a much-needed and epiphanous laugh on a (n ever)grim Sunday morning.