Thankfulness

November 27, 2008

Not being one to let the obviousness of a tradition stand in my way– and fully aware that I should be more thankful more often– I join the long list of those concentrating on thankfulness today.

Being thankful reminds me at once of my great fortune and my great shortcomings. The things I am most thankful for I am largely unworthy of. Despite gross paternal unevenness my children continue to be gifts beyond measure. In the face of constant social malfeasance I have more people I can confidently call friends than ever before.

I’ve been blessed with a good job that many others could do better and a host of colleagues and compatriots across the globe that continue to accept me for no discernible reason and regularly inspire me.

I’ve done little to deserve any of these gifts, which make each that much more valuable. This year, like the last, I continue my quest to learn to focus on today, not to descend into despair at thoughts of the past nor cower in consideration of the future. I’ve yet to make a concrete step towards enlightenment: I remain– always, often, or in turn– depressed and despairing, contemptuous, quick to take offense, manic and impetuous, slothful, fearful of failure, scared of success. In every way incomplete, I’m able each day to find a reason to make it to the next.

In this era of connection, the things that sustain me can be found by following my footprints, digital and analog: the people and ideas I come back to again and again in this blog and its less touchy-feel brother, my twitter friends, the subjects of my flickr photos, my blogroll and feed subscriptions, my snail-mail and email correspondents. There are too many to list each individually– I’d surely accidentally overlook someone– and the proof of my feelings is in my continuing interaction. Someday I hope to have something more to give back!

Tags: gratitude, thankfulness, thanksgiving